The Re-write, a poem

This is a Big One. A moment to mark in time. If you’re also neurodivergent, or struggle with mental health, you can probably relate to my dramatic POV shift!

Back in 2017, I’d write in my journal every day trying to grab onto tangible truth about my life, my identity. One day, I realized that re-framing was my right, so I wrote this poem.

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A Poem Called The Re-Write

Personality under revision
I’m trying to re-write my thoughts
Testing out Acceptance
Dependability, that’s new

And in this application
Open no longer means raw
A smile is not a mask
Writing has changed, too

Scrawling apprehensions
An inky purge of doubts
My pen would press
pain into the pages

Must be a transformation
Proof is in the pen
It lightly loops, ink flows
I hadn’t dreamed in ages.

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Please do not share my poem without my permission.

Re-write, Reframe, Repeat

Once again, I am struggling to hold my head above water. I keep reciting this poem in my head for reassurance. I’ve done this before, felt cornered and helpless, lost footing, and emerged stronger. As Anxiety disconnects my speech, drowning my true personality, my next breath of oxygen is within reach.

Writing this poem helped me to accept chronic illness as a facet of my being instead of a weakness. Focusing on my endurance led to a balanced view of my self-worth.

This made room for my faith to grow stronger. Yes, religion is part of me. I am likewise connected by commonality with truth seekers across the universe.

This time, my re-write is a rebellion. Each determined daily decision is key to the cause. I am taking a stand. Taking back my power. No one else need understand the quiet protest in my mornings or the silent strategizing in my evenings. These are mine alone.

Reframing Social Anxiety is opening my mind to new futures. Where I can, I will write for myself. I do hope others will try to know and love me, someday. (I hope I’ll let them.) Meanwhile, the truth knows me and that is how I know my story will be written.

Do not lie to one another. Strip off the old personality with its practices, and clothe yourselves with the new personality, which through accurate knowledge is being made new according to the image of the One who created it – Colossians 3:9, 10

Thank you for reading! 💜

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